Tag Archives: Thankful

WLS Chronicles ~ Week 14 Update

6 Apr
I have not posted lately about my progress with weight loss surgery so I thought I would while I have a few minutes on my hands this morning! It has been 14 weeks and 2 days since my life changed in a major way. I am only on ONE medication now (which I can’t shake – you know thyroid meds NEVER go away once you start!!). I have more energy than I can ever remember in my life. My diet and meal planning still are a huge part of my day. I have been able to dine out with friends more lately and even last night had dinner at a friend’s house. You wouldn’t believe the anxiety over worrying about hurting someone’s feelings by not eating a ton of their home cooked food. (Yes, I know not everyone would have this anxiety but when you are someone who is super sensitive you are more sensitive about other’s feelings and some of y’all just should thank me right now for that because SOME people just don’t care about anyone’s feelings! I digress…) However, we had a wonderful time and I explained and we were done with that!
I have kissed blood pressure and diabetes meds goodbye. I have kissed 80 pounds goodbye. I have kissed lots of foods goodbye. I have kissed LOTS of clothes goodbye (5-6 sizes down!). I have welcomed new friendships made by this journey. I’ve enjoyed exercising which I have really never EVER looked forward to before. I have adapted to my new tummy and my new emotions and new habits….and I have even turned into the most COLD NATURED PERSON I KNOW. (Well besides Shannon :)) EVEN IN TEXAS! LOL I have felt stress about new things. Not eating enough protein, drinking water too quickly, having 1 too many carbs… It is crazy to think of the differences in my diet and lifestyle. There is absolutely no way to tell you in words the emotions and pure joy that I have in my heart over this opportunity. The coolest thing is that people have reached out, privately, to ask questions. To get advice. To tell me they have been considering it. To dig deeper. To get support. So while I’m already in my feels over here, let me tell you that I am OVERJOYED to support others and their personal decisions to make changes to better themselves. Whether that means surgery or diet changes or lifestyle changes – if it makes you better….if it makes you live longer, if it makes you able to enjoy your family more, if it makes you healthier, DOOOOO IT.  Will everyone agree with you?  NOPE!  I can tell you that firsthand.  Side note, don’t get me wrong….those that don’t agree with you likely won’t tell you that to your face…but the whispers happen.  The “why didn’t she just exercise and eat better” questions….the “wow, that was drastic” conversations…the people who just act like it didn’t happen (that’s by far my favorite….hahahahaha….like, do you NOT notice I look crazy different?  now you just seem weird.)  Honestly I used to be offended by the thought of someone not agreeing but then I read a few memes (HA HA HA!) and felt better.  You know the ones…
Also, the support of family and friends means a TON. It is still second to my relationship with Jesus. He is the ONLY reason I have been successful in this because I AM WEAK. Alone, I’d be searching out some Shipley’s Donuts right now. But here I sit, coffee with Splenda & sugar free creamer in hand. Happy. Blessed. Grateful.
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Patient Patience

23 Sep

To say that I’m exhausted from pain is an understatement.  Let me just give you a quick rundown of what’s going on….(and if technical, lady-business words make you uncomfortable – skip this one!)  I posted this ten days ago but updated it today 10/3/16.

April 2013 – intense pain and cramping during periods, had an ablation to help with pain

October 2015 – pain starts back up and surgery is scheduled, due to endometriosis

December 2015 – hysterectomy performed (partial, kept ovaries)

June 2016 – pain is back, but only in left side…checked for cyst – negative….GYN thinks due to endometriosis.  Suggests removing ovaries will kill estrogen and therefore stop feeding endometriosis.

June 2016 – Ovaries removed. No hormones prescribed so as to remove as much estrogen as possible.  Pain continues.  While performing surgery, notices there is significant endometriosis on colon.

July 2016 – Pain continues. Visits to primary care physician, GYN and general surgeon to discuss options.  Surgeon orders colonoscopy and EGD to check for any blockages or other issues.

August 2016 – Colonoscopy performed.  No blockages.  Colon is “floppy” but not showing any signs internally that endo has damaged.  Surgeon not convinced that endo is source of pain.  GYN is sure endo is.

September 9, 2016 – Follow up with general surgeon and he now wonders if pain could be from femoral hernia.  He checks and feels “something”.  He performs ultrasound and sees “something”.  Orders CT Scan.

September 20, 2016 – CT Scan performed and awaiting results.  Still waiting.  Not patiently.

I’m so hoping this pain can be a distant memory soon.  Until it is, I am just taking one day at a time….sometimes an hour at a time.  The pain is on my left side, is worse when I’m standing and appears for most of the time when I am standing/walking/sitting and if I am laying down it is more than likely THERE but maybe not as “sharp”.

September 26, 2016 – Follow up with general surgeon to discuss CT Scan.  He started to say the words that I dreaded hearing…”The scan did not 100% confirm….” and I have to be honest, I didn’t hear much else.  I broke down in tears and just stopped listening.  When he was finished I confessed that I wasn’t listening and he started over with “I still think you have a femoral hernia…” and that was enough to make me feel better.  He thinks maybe the scan didn’t show because I was lying down and the hernia could correct itself while I’m lying down – so he wanted to proceed with surgery.  While discussing the surgery details, he let me know that he wanted to perform the surgery using robotic assistance so that slimmed down the time slots and hospitals.  It would be at Rex’s Raleigh campus and the day was up for grabs (depending on who could proctor and when the robot rep was available to be on call).  He wanted to use this means in order to explore my abdomen/intestines/colon to check on the endometriosis.  OH YES…..I was so happy.  We scheduled the surgery….and then rescheduled (based on all of the above) for just 4 days later, Friday, September 30th.  I was so happy it was going to be on Friday instead of Thursday since Mike was in Boston but due back late Thursday night!  (To be honest, I would have still had the surgery, but I was glad I didn’t have to without him!)

September 30, 2016 – Surgery day!  Woke up at 3:30 to leave the house by 4:30 am.  Traffic was very light!  LOL  Getting the IV in……not easy.  This is just one of my arms and the other was as bad…I think they stuck me around 6 times.  When they finally get one, they broke my heart by saying, “Since your surgery is robotic, you have to have two IV’s.”  They quickly followed that up by telling me they would do the second one after I was asleep. (Thank you Jesus!)

20160930_205319

My Mom and Mike were there (my Daddy and in-laws were on MJ duty at a school program) and by my side until they took me back.  FAST FORWARD —

When I woke up from surgery, I remember being so scared!  I remember worrying right then that I’d still have the pain that has been my enemy!  I panicked and they gave me more oxygen as it had fallen to 91%.  After that, I was okay…got more pain meds…drank Ginger Ale, ate my graham crackers and got out of there!  I was so ready to be home and in my own bed.  I don’t remember much about the ride home at all!  Just that Mike checked on me and held my hand most of the way!

October 3, 2016 – It’s been a few days now and I have to tell you I’m really surprised at how much these incisions hurt!  They are bigger than my previous surgeries (and I mean my poor belly button has had three surgeries now in just 10 months) and feel more tender.  Getting up and down out of a chair or the bed feels a bit like someone is ripping muscle in my abdomen….but no big deal…ha!  I do feel better every day so that’s a positive.  The leg pain that had started as a result (we believe) of the hernia is GONE – praise God!!

I am so thankful for friends and family who have reached out, helped out and prayed diligently.  I may not have a large family but I have an amazing husband and kids, an awesome set of parents and in-laws and many cousins who have prayed and checked in on me.  I’m blessed.

I can’t believe all that has changed in three months.  I went from a workaholic to a stay at home Mom.  A relatively healthy 37 year old to a 37 year old hermit in chronic pain.  Making the decision to leave my stressful, travel-heavy job was a hard one but I am so grateful that my husband and family supported me in it so much.  There is absolutely no way I could commit to working at this point.  I’m thankful that I have always had a job, since I was 15 (shout out to Jimbo’s Grill and On Cue!!) and I have had amazing opportunities, met wonderful people and learned many things (shout out to pivot tables, vlookups and incentive programs).  The season I’m in now is one of waiting and being still and having faith.  It’s uncomfortable but I do believe that the Lord is with me and is guiding me through this.  He is giving me strength to do things that matter.  Homework with MJ, moving my oldest to college, getting ready for doctor appointments, cooking dinner for my sweet husband….the important things.  I am just learning every day to be a patient patient.  It’s not easy.

My Business

15 Aug

No, not starting a business…not closing a business or minding my business….just I’m BUSY!

Moving, Disney, kids, summer, work, etc etc etc have kept me from stopping and trying to remember any of it…that makes me sad.  However it makes me MADcrazyHAPPY that I have been too busy to notice.  Lately the only thing I even WRITE is my prayer list (which seems to get longer by the day – sadly) so sitting down to type is unthinkable one some days!

Moving has definitely been the time suck of the year!  Hmm, I guess technically “moving” itself wasn’t the time consuming activity….that was over in a day.  Filling a house has been the thing….buying new things, repurposing old ones, shopping for bargains, creating new memories in a new space.  It’s been EXHAUSTING…but most of all…it’s been FUN!!!  It’s one of those things that makes it so apparent to me that crazy times bring out the MOST of what you have the most of.  If you have love and fun and happiness, you will get more of THAT.  My sweet husband has been so awesome throughout this transitional phase of having a new space to live in…..he’s dealt with my shopping habits, my chevron obsessions and my need to decorate every nook and cranny with some form of turquoise, aqua or gray!  My kids have totally enjoyed finding their own new things and old things alike and have been such troopers about keeping things clean and organized.  My Mom has been….an angel!  She has loved shopping for me and crafting and lending a hand or elbow or whatever was needed.  My niece helped unpack like a madwoman and it was a great time to have my entire family…inlaws, parents, niece and her boyfriend, sissy and her hubby and my baby niece….my kids…our friend Zoe…it was just awesome.  I have had more visitors in a month than I believe I had at my former house in the seven years we lived there!  It’s just fun getting opinions on decor and organization sometimes, right?  ((OH AND THERE IS THAT POOL PROJECT THAT I HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT!!!  SO MANY DECISIONS…….EEEEEK.)

Getting the kids ready for back to school…fun times.  My kids will all be at the same school and I’m thrilled about that.  MJ is starting K5 and I can’t even believe it.  The speed at which time has flown is amazing.  I’d like to say I’m dealing with my baby going to school very well but I’m not a liar.  She’s so ready and I want to show her how excited I am for her and I do…and then I fall apart alone!!  WHEW!  It will be all fine and well next Friday after it’s been a day and we’ve had “that” day and she did fine and was happy and didn’t hold onto my leg for dear life.  (Dear God, please don’t let that happen. Amen.)  The boys are kinda “meh” about school starting back….but that’s to be expected at 12 and 15.  Happy for them to get in there and get it going though!

Mike’s promotion + school = CRAZY!  Many nights when we first moved in (he had finals then), I didn’t see him after dinner because I couldn’t stay up until he got in bed!   Work has been busy for him as well….he hasn’t even played much golf lately!

TO BE CONTINUED…………I can’t even stay awake!!!

Does God have Disney plans for you??

1 Jul

So, I kept a secret from my kids.  They didn’t know we were headed to Disney World after we moved into our new house….and I did quite a bit of planning behind their backs.  I wanted the WOW factor when they found out…I wanted them to LOVE it and to be SO EXCITED.  I have waited and waited for the time to reveal this surprise to them.

Disney

 

It got me thinking.  I wonder how our Heavenly Father must feel about the plans He has for us.  I wonder how it must be to know our future and know how much He can bless us?  It makes me feel pretty pitiful for ever going against God’s will.  To think that I’ve bucked His plans or wondered what He was thinking.  You know if my kids would have said “MOM, I’d rather have gone to Carowinds!!”  I would have been crushed.  I imagine there are many times that God wants the WOW factor for us and we give Him a groan or moan or anything-less-than-excitement.

May we remember that the worst of things that are happening to us might be the very thing that Christ is using to teach us a lesson of life or of LOVE.  His secret will lead to our joy if we just remember to see it that way and treat it as such.

I hope I can hold on to this and remember it tomorrow and the day after…and forever.  It’s so easy to complain but much more of a challenge to look for the blessings….are you up for the challenge?  I am!!!

New House!

1 Jul

I am so so so so so excited to move on Friday!

**Ha! I wrote this on 6/8…intended to post pics and didn’t!**

~Winning~

Our New Home

27 Jun

I was thinking of making a point to blog about the progress of our move.  I missed out on that though.  We are here, unpacked and all decorated – NOT!  We are here….we are 92% unpacked I’d say…and the decorating is a work in progress and of course the most fun part!  I have enjoyed dreaming (pinning on Pinterest) and shopping (very little) and seeing a room come together (okay, one bathroom) more than I realized I would.

Let’s sum up the last few weeks….

June 14th – Friday

8:30 am – movers arrived at old house, started loading

9 am – walk through of new house

9:30 – close on new house

10:30 am – keys in hand, met movers at new house

12:30 pm – movers done, we started unpacking (with help and moral support from lots of family….my fave part)

1:00 pm – new furniture arrived followed by Windstream, Dish Network…Mike hung blinds….

June 15 – 16 – Saturday & Sunday

Unpacked, cleaned, more family came over….Dad hung ceiling fan in living room…assembled a few things….

June 17 – 18 – Monday & Tuesday

Both of us worked and came home to pack…again…for vacation.  Yes, we did that.

June 19 – Wednesday

4 am – Departed for Disney World, we drove (ok, Mike did)….stayed until Monday, June 24th….FAST FORWARD

June 24 – Monday

Christian’s 15th birthday….

4 pm – Returned home from Disney

6 pm – party for Christian at our house (FUN!)

June 25 – Tuesday

Both Mike and myself took vacation for this day as well to recover a bit.  We ended up spending it shopping, picking up the last of the TVs, finishing a bathroom decor….and enjoying the company of my sweet Zoe (family friend that we are blessed enough to live so so so close to now!)….great day!

June 26 – Wednesday

Back to reality.  Worked today and came home to cook my first meal.  HA!  Hot dogs and french fries – nothing but the best!  🙂

I really feel like the last few weeks have been a blur…an absolute blur…but it’s been so awesome and all for the best.  I’ve enjoyed seeing more of my family, starting a new chapter as we make this house a home and celebrating my baby boy’s birthday….life is so awesome!  God has blessed us so so so much and I’m ever so grateful for these blessings…

Forgiveness

7 Jun

A couple of weeks ago, one of our pastors preached on FORGIVENESS.  I walked away with many thoughts about this topic.  I find it interesting that so many people throw around the request to be forgiven as well as the words “I forgive you.”….funny how it becomes easy to SAY.  How good are we at actually DOING it?  Pastor Murr talked about how when we are presented an opportunity to forgive, we should remember how WE WERE FORGIVEN.  And we were.  And are.  Over and over.  Because we sin.  Daily.  Our Lord forgives us.  He already has.  He paid the debt for all of our sins and we are FORGIVEN.  Who are we to not forgive someone for hurting us, for lying to us, for letting us down.  How many times have you done that to Jesus?  Jesus isn’t bitter.  He doesn’t love us less or treat us differently.  He forgives and forgets it.  Try it.

Wow, the June is BIZZZY!!

29 May

I love those times when I think I don’t have a life…things to do…much going on.  HA!  Enter June.  We have a few things going on, like:  selling current home/buying new home/moving into new home/packing up the rest of current home/vacation (shhh)/Mike has like 5 Dr appts/I have two weeks of vendor/customer meetings.  Add to that an already full platter of things to do…my oldest son is turning 15….what??…..Father’s Day……ACCCKKKKKK!!!!

So, that’s not the excuse that I haven’t posted.  I have just been living life instead of writing about it.  It’s a catch 22 though.  I love reading back over what I was thinking/feeling at a certain time.  Maybe with all this change in my life I will be sure to capture it somehow in word.  It is absolutely crazy all that we have going on….but I am so incredibly excited and happy.  And…BLESSED.

Onward…

30 Dec

I don’t like resolutions.  I shy away from predictions.  I am more of a “goals and objectives” kinda gal.  In – SHOCKER – a list form!  Here are some of my goals for the coming year:

  1. Read the Bible AT LEAST daily.
  2. Become more active in my church. Also, if I’m uncomfortable with that, find a church that I am comfortable with doing that in.
  3. Keep blogging.  I love to journal and I love the feedback that I get.  It’s not usually in comments, but rather in emails or direct messages that are from close friends.  I appreciate that so much.
  4. Do more random acts of kindness.  How about making them NORMAL and not RANDOM?
  5. Disney. Again.
  6. Make sure my teenagers know how very special they are…and then keep telling them.  Every day.  I see so much hurt in teens all over the place and I need to be SURE I don’t have that under my roof.  Ever.
  7. Be more expressive of my feelings in person.  I have a pretty hefty problem of expressing myself if you’re in the same room with me.  Over blogs, texts, emails – I can rock out words a plenty.  I need to get over it.

Just Reflection

14 Dec

My heart is really heavy tonight.  I’ve prayed, I’ve cried, I’ve read, I’ve watched…I’ve tried to comprehend the details and then shut my computer in dismay.  I have hugged my children, absorbed in their scents, and thanked the Lord for my blessings.  I feel so incredibly sad for the families of the little angels that lost their lives today.  I feel so raw with emotion that I can’t even put into words exactly how it makes me feel.  I am looking to my Lord.  I am not asking for answers or understanding or even peace.  What I ask is for more people to trust Him.  More people to have the kind of faith that moves mountains.  That heals hearts.  That forgives.  Those children were so innocent, so unfinished.  Surely so loved by a parent or two….grandparents…great-grandparents..aunts..uncles…brothers…sisters.  Those small little hands and fingers and toes….so small and yet so missed this evening.  I cannot even imagine the hurt and loss that their families must be feeling.  But, even so, I pray that they have faith.  I pray that they look to Him.  I pray that they would draw closer and nearer to the only one who can deliver them.  I pray that they would know Him, love Him, trust Him.  Only through Him will they once again see those small eyes and be reunited among streets of gold!!!  I pray for comfort for these people, this town, our country.  We surely need many things…but most of all, Him.

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