Archive | worry RSS feed for this section

Patient Patience

23 Sep

To say that I’m exhausted from pain is an understatement.  Let me just give you a quick rundown of what’s going on….(and if technical, lady-business words make you uncomfortable – skip this one!)  I posted this ten days ago but updated it today 10/3/16.

April 2013 – intense pain and cramping during periods, had an ablation to help with pain

October 2015 – pain starts back up and surgery is scheduled, due to endometriosis

December 2015 – hysterectomy performed (partial, kept ovaries)

June 2016 – pain is back, but only in left side…checked for cyst – negative….GYN thinks due to endometriosis.  Suggests removing ovaries will kill estrogen and therefore stop feeding endometriosis.

June 2016 – Ovaries removed. No hormones prescribed so as to remove as much estrogen as possible.  Pain continues.  While performing surgery, notices there is significant endometriosis on colon.

July 2016 – Pain continues. Visits to primary care physician, GYN and general surgeon to discuss options.  Surgeon orders colonoscopy and EGD to check for any blockages or other issues.

August 2016 – Colonoscopy performed.  No blockages.  Colon is “floppy” but not showing any signs internally that endo has damaged.  Surgeon not convinced that endo is source of pain.  GYN is sure endo is.

September 9, 2016 – Follow up with general surgeon and he now wonders if pain could be from femoral hernia.  He checks and feels “something”.  He performs ultrasound and sees “something”.  Orders CT Scan.

September 20, 2016 – CT Scan performed and awaiting results.  Still waiting.  Not patiently.

I’m so hoping this pain can be a distant memory soon.  Until it is, I am just taking one day at a time….sometimes an hour at a time.  The pain is on my left side, is worse when I’m standing and appears for most of the time when I am standing/walking/sitting and if I am laying down it is more than likely THERE but maybe not as “sharp”.

September 26, 2016 – Follow up with general surgeon to discuss CT Scan.  He started to say the words that I dreaded hearing…”The scan did not 100% confirm….” and I have to be honest, I didn’t hear much else.  I broke down in tears and just stopped listening.  When he was finished I confessed that I wasn’t listening and he started over with “I still think you have a femoral hernia…” and that was enough to make me feel better.  He thinks maybe the scan didn’t show because I was lying down and the hernia could correct itself while I’m lying down – so he wanted to proceed with surgery.  While discussing the surgery details, he let me know that he wanted to perform the surgery using robotic assistance so that slimmed down the time slots and hospitals.  It would be at Rex’s Raleigh campus and the day was up for grabs (depending on who could proctor and when the robot rep was available to be on call).  He wanted to use this means in order to explore my abdomen/intestines/colon to check on the endometriosis.  OH YES…..I was so happy.  We scheduled the surgery….and then rescheduled (based on all of the above) for just 4 days later, Friday, September 30th.  I was so happy it was going to be on Friday instead of Thursday since Mike was in Boston but due back late Thursday night!  (To be honest, I would have still had the surgery, but I was glad I didn’t have to without him!)

September 30, 2016 – Surgery day!  Woke up at 3:30 to leave the house by 4:30 am.  Traffic was very light!  LOL  Getting the IV in……not easy.  This is just one of my arms and the other was as bad…I think they stuck me around 6 times.  When they finally get one, they broke my heart by saying, “Since your surgery is robotic, you have to have two IV’s.”  They quickly followed that up by telling me they would do the second one after I was asleep. (Thank you Jesus!)

20160930_205319

My Mom and Mike were there (my Daddy and in-laws were on MJ duty at a school program) and by my side until they took me back.  FAST FORWARD —

When I woke up from surgery, I remember being so scared!  I remember worrying right then that I’d still have the pain that has been my enemy!  I panicked and they gave me more oxygen as it had fallen to 91%.  After that, I was okay…got more pain meds…drank Ginger Ale, ate my graham crackers and got out of there!  I was so ready to be home and in my own bed.  I don’t remember much about the ride home at all!  Just that Mike checked on me and held my hand most of the way!

October 3, 2016 – It’s been a few days now and I have to tell you I’m really surprised at how much these incisions hurt!  They are bigger than my previous surgeries (and I mean my poor belly button has had three surgeries now in just 10 months) and feel more tender.  Getting up and down out of a chair or the bed feels a bit like someone is ripping muscle in my abdomen….but no big deal…ha!  I do feel better every day so that’s a positive.  The leg pain that had started as a result (we believe) of the hernia is GONE – praise God!!

I am so thankful for friends and family who have reached out, helped out and prayed diligently.  I may not have a large family but I have an amazing husband and kids, an awesome set of parents and in-laws and many cousins who have prayed and checked in on me.  I’m blessed.

I can’t believe all that has changed in three months.  I went from a workaholic to a stay at home Mom.  A relatively healthy 37 year old to a 37 year old hermit in chronic pain.  Making the decision to leave my stressful, travel-heavy job was a hard one but I am so grateful that my husband and family supported me in it so much.  There is absolutely no way I could commit to working at this point.  I’m thankful that I have always had a job, since I was 15 (shout out to Jimbo’s Grill and On Cue!!) and I have had amazing opportunities, met wonderful people and learned many things (shout out to pivot tables, vlookups and incentive programs).  The season I’m in now is one of waiting and being still and having faith.  It’s uncomfortable but I do believe that the Lord is with me and is guiding me through this.  He is giving me strength to do things that matter.  Homework with MJ, moving my oldest to college, getting ready for doctor appointments, cooking dinner for my sweet husband….the important things.  I am just learning every day to be a patient patient.  It’s not easy.

Advertisements

Water, Water, Everywhere

21 Jan

My prompt for today:  What is your biggest concern about the future of the environment?

Obviously, I’m concerned about the future for a few reasons….  Of course I just CARE.  I’d like to see this world we live in thrive and be green and pretty and all that jazz…  However, if the Lord doesn’t return soon and I leave this world before my children are left to hang around and endure it – I’d like for them to have pretty things to see, air to breath (that doesn’t harm them), animals to observe and clean water to drink.  I think water is a big deal for me for a few reasons….I LOVE IT first of all.  I love to drink it, swim in it, see it, you name it!  My job is obviously greatly affected by water.  We want people to ENJOY it…we want people to benefit from the cleanliness of it…we want to MOVE it…  It’s a big deal, y’all!!  I could give you lots of stats but you all know the deal.  There’s a lot of water.  There’s a lot of pollution.  There’s a lot of work to do…we just need to be sure we’re all doing it, that our government is funding someone doing it and that we are all supporting it!!!

 

Sing a Little Song…Or…Not.

13 Jan

Can I share a confession with you?

I dream to sing in a choir.  Like, when I’m at church, I picture myself up there.  I love to sing.  I love to sing praise music.

However – I have amazingly low self-esteem.  I’m shy.  And I’m crazy self-conscious about EVERYTHING.  My voice, my body, my face, my freckles, my everything!  Now, I know that God made me and he doesn’t make any junk…..sure!  However, the feeling I get when I think of putting myself out there like that?  SCARY!!!!

Will you pray with me that God can use this self-conscious person to sing his praises before I do it in Heaven?  I am quite sure I will there…but I’d kinda like to do it BEFORE then!

Oh, just charge it. Then, recharge it.

3 Jan

When I feel drained of *energy*, there are a few ways I can recharge.  I thought I’d make a list…

  1. nap (assuming all the kid folk and husband folk are in agreement.  LEAST LIKELY ONE, FYI)
  2. massage (La Therapie in Cary is my FAVE)
  3. be still (and know)
  4. talk it out (talk about what drained me, prolly to my mama)
  5. make a list (ha, but no really)

I find that sometimes the most effective way to recharge is something mindless.  Like, scouring FB or Twitter for updates.  To just get lost in something that is not taxing or stressful does me much good.  Maybe that’s why I know so much about Sanford’s goings-ons, Cory Booker,  Food Network and YOU!  🙂

 

Just Reflection

14 Dec

My heart is really heavy tonight.  I’ve prayed, I’ve cried, I’ve read, I’ve watched…I’ve tried to comprehend the details and then shut my computer in dismay.  I have hugged my children, absorbed in their scents, and thanked the Lord for my blessings.  I feel so incredibly sad for the families of the little angels that lost their lives today.  I feel so raw with emotion that I can’t even put into words exactly how it makes me feel.  I am looking to my Lord.  I am not asking for answers or understanding or even peace.  What I ask is for more people to trust Him.  More people to have the kind of faith that moves mountains.  That heals hearts.  That forgives.  Those children were so innocent, so unfinished.  Surely so loved by a parent or two….grandparents…great-grandparents..aunts..uncles…brothers…sisters.  Those small little hands and fingers and toes….so small and yet so missed this evening.  I cannot even imagine the hurt and loss that their families must be feeling.  But, even so, I pray that they have faith.  I pray that they look to Him.  I pray that they would draw closer and nearer to the only one who can deliver them.  I pray that they would know Him, love Him, trust Him.  Only through Him will they once again see those small eyes and be reunited among streets of gold!!!  I pray for comfort for these people, this town, our country.  We surely need many things…but most of all, Him.

Results are In! (Well, some….)

8 Aug

So, after all that has happened (his almost fainting, stroke like symptoms, general exhaustion, findings of liver and kidney function issues) and his appointment this past Monday at a hematologist (still awaiting all of the results from that)…we were looking forward to today!  He had a three hour glucose test last week and we knew we were to find out the results today.  (Never mind the fact the I went yesterday for lab work {Vitamin D} and saw the Doctor and he TOLD ME the results!)

First, we talked about the hematologist (who Mike loves) and his findings so far.  He wrote our PCP a dissertation on my husband.  Swoon.  It was about all of the issues and what he thinks might be going on with my sweetie’s blood.  As of now, they are leaning towards a diagnosis of polycythemia.  You can find more information about THAT here.  Basically, his body is making too many red blood cells.  This can lead to complications since they blood flow may decrease and stress on organs can increase.  Obviously, this is a great concern to us and is wayyy up there on the priority list to figure out what’s going on.  The hematologist took 13 vials of blood on Monday to test for all sorts of things, levels, genetic markers.  The follow up for that is in two weeks and I’m very anxious to see what that is!

Now, on to the PCP’s test results of the three hour glucose test.  So, normally, a non-diabetic person should have a glucose level of 60-100 at most times.  Once they eat something, it should normally raise no higher than 160 (even if it’s seven ice cream sundaes and four Sonic slushies).  So, 30 minutes after Mike started his test (and had drank that lovely stuff that all pregnant women get to experience)…his glucose was at 262.  Yes, TWO HUNDRED SIXTY TWO.  Yikes!  The interesting thing?  At three hours…it was 56.  So, he spikes WAY up and he drops WAY low.  The good doctor hesitated to label him “diabetic” (probably due to insurance if you want to know the truth) but is treating it as such.  Put him on a medicine (Januvia) and will see him back in 6 weeks.  He also let him know he needs to lose ten percent of his weight and gave him some diet tips and levels to stay within.

I am really hoping this is a wake up call for BOTH of us.  For ALL of us.  My family, extended family, friends, whoever might be reading this.  Bad habits are SO easy to fall into and SO hard to break.  We let our kids grow up eating whatever is easy for us all and then expect them to turn from those habits when it matters???  So silly and I KNOW this.  So, I started typing this when my hand started cramping from making menus and lists of things that are “safe”.  We will not do this cold turkey, but we will make swift changes (already did for supper) that will affect our diet, weight and our LIFE.  We can’t continue to live by convenience and just expect to feel good because it tastes good!  Also, boot camp on Saturday for me was not a one time deal.  Mike has even expressed interest in going so I am TOTALLY down with that.  I would love to show him up work out with him.  I have found myself trying to do push ups around the house too…from different elevations…to see if my upper arm strength is existent any better.  I just want to be able to know that he and I are doing everything we can to improve our lives.  I feel like a twelve step program could help though!!!

Okay…I’m wrapping this up, just wanted to update those who asked and were praying!  Thank you so much.  I serve a Mighty God and I know that He will bring us through this.  I have much faith in that!!

SISTAS FROM CALI

Follow Our Adventures

Monkeys in My Bag

A Missionary Momma Doing Life in Central America

beachbodycoachlinda

My weight loss journey with beachbody

Mommy Musings

An Independent Girl's Journey to Dependence

A Woman Inspired

A place for women who desire to be used by Him.

not without butter

a collection of recipes to celebrate life's decadence

Mommyfriend

...finding perfection in imperfection daily.

Fancy Little Things

Bringing the True, Pure & Lovely...

Prego and the Loon

Pregnant and Dealing With Domestic Violence

Molly B and Me

Short stories and recipes shared with humor and love

megacouponblog

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

Crusoe: Celebrity Dachshund

The Dachshund Who Thinks He's More of a Celebrity Than He Really is (For Now)

The Worst Preacher's Wife Ever

Just another WordPress.com site

Fresh Perspective by Teri Lynne Underwood

living big without missing the small

LIVE IT OUT! -- Sarah Francis Martin

Living out the Kingship of Christ

homefries

Podcasts For Your Life

Life With Ladies

riding the hormone train

%d bloggers like this: