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Pity Party Perspective Shift

17 Jan

For those who don’t know, I had surgery December 5, 2018, on my shoulder.  Specifically I had a bicep tenodesis and labrum repair.  It was SO much easier than I anticipated (with the help of a pain pump for the three days following surgery!!) and I was so incredibly thankful.  When physical therapy started, I knew it would be painful getting my shoulder moving again and improving my range of motion.  What I did NOT anticipate was the scar tissue and the extreme pain of trying to alleviate it.  The massages from my therapists leave me in tears.  They expect me to do this to myself, at home, on my days away from their office and honestly it makes me nearly sick to my stomach to think of touching these “marbles” in my shoulder.  It. Is. Painful.  I have prayed, I have begged, I have cried in anticipation of appointments.  This week I had therapy on Tuesday – which was awful.  They used the “cupping” technique on my scar tissue in addition to the massage and now I’m left with purple/red circles to mark my pain points.  Yesterday (Wednesday) I spent in tears many times, worrying about the appointment for today (Thursday).  What I did not anticipate, was realizing this morning that EVERY SINGLE devotion I have read this week was about NOT WORRYING.  About not borrowing trouble.  About not rehearsing your troubles or multiplying your suffering.  Ummm.  Ouch.

I love that Jesus created us to need Him. I am saddened when I hear someone so proudly proclaim they are independent and self-sufficient and don’t need anyone.  Jesus created us to do the opposite of that.  To need Him…rely on Him…call on Him.  I felt like I had been doing that through this season of pain, so in my mind I had submitted this pain to Him…but I have been reminded that it is more than praying through it.  I have to stop worrying about this.  Let’s run through some math….  I wake up around 5 every morning to start my day.  I go to bed around 10 most nights.  That is 17 waking hours.  Of that 17 hours, physical therapy takes up approximately 1 hour.  (By the way, not even the whole hour is the extreme pain…it’s probably made up of about 10-15 minutes.  It lingers, yes, but nothing compares to that few minutes!)  I have been literally crying, worrying – a HOT MESS – about Thursday.  THURS.DAY.  When, really, I am dreading that PT appt.  That hour.  That 1/17th of time for Thursday.  A day of cooking breakfast for my hubby…the opportunity to take my baby girl to school…of loving my family by doing their laundry…playing with puppies…cooking for my family…ALL THE THINGS – ALL THE GOOD THINGS.  I have been crying over less than 6% of a day.

More than that…I have missed time being thankful.  Missed time with my family because I was upset over the pain, the impending appointment, missed fellowship with friends.  I feel so silly….so guilty!!

I am SO THANKFUL for a Jesus who forgives and who pursues me – no matter how stubborn I am!  He put the words in front of me day after day this week and FINALLY let me SEE them.  Yesterday my devotion said, “Relax in His Peace.”  Ha!  Let’s just say I did NOT listen. Monday it said, “Laugh at the future.” Ummmm…for SUUUUUURE I am laughing at myself right now!!! Today I was reminded to be thankful and how He made this day.  This day that I have dreaded and L I T E R A L L Y cried over – He made it!!!!  Can you imagine creating something that is beautiful and holds so many blessings and someone acting like a BABY OVER IT and pitching an ALL OUT fit in dread and worry and anxiety?????  (I’m guessing if you’re a Mom you probably have experienced this because KIDS, but whatever!!!)

So – let me not waste another minute having my little pity party.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to get my shoulder repaired and having a chance at better range of motion.  I am thankful for my surgeons and my physical therapists and their commitment to health and wellness.  I am depending on Jesus and calling on Him to get me through my appointment today as well as my home exercies/massages.  He will strengthen me, I know!

Friends, do not let problems and troubles of this world be bigger than your faith in Him.  He is bigger and stronger than them all…we just have to remember it and stay in communication with Him.  The closer we are to Him, the easier it is to remember.

Treats for Delivery Drivers

4 Jan

I started doing this before Christmas and received RAVE reviews from our delivery drivers.  We order a LOT online…so I see them very often! 🙂  When a few gave me a “thanks for dinner” comment and smiles…I knew I could not stop doing this after Christmas this year!  I created a new sign with a happy new year message…and plan to continue this for every season – so that every day there is a treat for them!  Especially when I know I have a shipment coming.  I wanted to include it here so that it can be downloaded if anyone would like it as well!  Feel free to use it!  BLESS OTHERS!!

year round delivery treats justjmejones

Download PDF Here

 

 

Promises, Promises

23 Feb

I am so human.  SO human.  I am also SO thankful that Jesus is much more than that.  That His promises are guarantees.  That said, I am going to promise you that I am going to update you, in due time, on all of the changes that have gone on in my life in the last year.  I will try to follow through with this but I will likely fail….but I do PROMISE you that I have good intentions!  If you have followed or known me long at all, you know that I love lists…so I will just jot down here the changes and come back here to link once I actually type it out!

In 2017 – we……..

  1. Sold our NC home.
  2. Lived with my Mom and Dad (and without my hubby!!!) for two months.
  3. Moved to Texas.
  4. Road tripped to Austin, Houston, Waco, Arlington, and Galveston.
  5. Lived in an apartment for several months.
  6. Started an amazing Bible study, through Community Bible Study.
  7. Continued weight loss.
  8. Built a house.  An amazing, beautiful, creation if I do say so myself!  (see #10 for referenced IG acct to see pics)
  9. Started backyard projects.
  10. Started a home decor Instagram page (due to that nagging fear of my friends/family growing tired of me sharing home stuff) at http://www.instagram.com/sweetcharmhouse
  11. Visited NC in July and December.
  12. Stepped up our prayer life.

SO, happy Friday and have a great weekend!  I’m going to work on my blog catch up posts!  🙂

 

WLS Chronicles – Pre-Op Diet

15 Feb

Let me start by saying, every individual is different.  Every surgeon is different.  If you are reading this and you are on your journey to weight loss surgery, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS listen to YOUR surgeon and medical team.

My surgeon instructed me to start a “liver reduction diet” two weeks before my surgery.  The purpose of this diet is to make it easier for the surgeon to move your liver out of the way so they can focus on your stomach during surgery.  The first week of the liver reduction diet is made up of a daily diet of 2 bariatric protein shakes, 2 bariatric snacks (crisps or bars) and one meal of lean meat and green veggies – NO/LOW carbs, NO caffeine, NO sugar – and 64 ounces of liquids.  I started on December 13th and this part of the diet was not THAT complicated or difficult but that one meal a day was CHERISHED let me tell you!

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Hamburger Steak, asparagus, green beans and a pickle!

The second week of this diet was very simple.  Five bariatric shakes a day.  Only that.  No solid foods, no snacks, no cheating.  This was HARD.  I missed chewing.  I missed real food.  I could still have hydrating liquids and that included sugar-free popsicles so they were my jam.  They still are.  Yummy.

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My protein shake – Bariatric Advantage Cookies & Cream

The liver reduction diet requires planning, willpower and commitment.  Basically this sets you up for success after surgery as well.  It also gives you bad breath, low energy and dry skin!  By the last few days, it was all I could do to get those shakes down.  The last day, I think I only drank three.  There was just no way.  I was tired of them and just tired in general.  Keep in mind that on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was on liquids only.  My family was so kind and understanding and did everything they could to make things easier on me.  During this time I still cooked for my family and was around food…I knew that it was going to require me to keep doing that after my surgery so I figured I should start learning to resist temptations!  Easier said than done but I did it!

Twenty-four hours before the surgery, I had to stop all red and purple liquids.  That means only orange sugar free popsicles!  🙂  As usual, nothing to eat after midnight the night before surgery.  My surgery was scheduled for 10:30 AM so I had to be there at 8:30 AM.  I was so beyond ready.  Prayer helped me so much here.  I felt a peace that I couldn’t have come by alone.  I was ready.

Cleaning out my closet….

15 Sep

Or, well, my drafts folder.

I published two blogs tonight that I had been holding on to for a while.  I’m not sure why I hadn’t posted them but there they were hanging out in my drafts folder for no good reason.  If anyone happens to stumble upon my blog and get something positive from my pain, I will be happy. I find so much comfort, humor and solidarity out of reading the words of others.  Maybe someone needs to read mine.

Gains and Losses

15 Sep

Don’t worry, this is not a finance lesson.  No short-term, long-term or capital loss carryovers will be mentioned in this blog.  Ever.

Have you lost anything recently?  Weight?  Car keys?  Debit card? Your mind?  Gained anything recently? Weight? Debt? Love? Children?  How do you compare the two?  Is something gained always better than something lost? Do they always go hand in hand?

In the past few months, it seems I have be involved in or aware of many of both.  Loss of life, loss of a relationship, loss of trust, loss of faith.  Gain of a friend, gain of love, gain of confidence, gain of success.  Do you have to have known one to know the other?  Do you have to experience both simultaneously? It sometimes feels that way. We hear things like “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”…as if to say that by losing SOMETHING we are gaining strength.  We constantly hear of people who lose a loved one and gain faith in the Lord. Losing one job can mean a new, better opportunity.

Basically, it would appear to be balanced, right?  But what happens when you lose someone or something and you can’t figure out why that’s happening?  What happens when there doesn’t seem to be any good reason for someone to decide they don’t like you.  When someone you love deserts you or puts you down – how do you turn that into something good?

I struggled with this personally a while back.  Someone I loved hurt me immensely. I’m talking about that kind of gut-wrenching ache that makes you feel physically ill.  (Please, y’all, it was NOT my husband…he’s a total gentleman and I’d lose my mind if he did that to me…and change my blog name!  LOL)  I’m not a revengeful person.  I don’t delight in getting back at people.  I don’t like for someone to know they “got to” me either.  I don’t like confrontation. All in all, I’m a doormat, I suppose. I would much rather just go on and keep being nice and friendly and civil instead of causing drama or calling someone out. My methods solve NOTHING. My methods breed agreement. By not saying anything or acting no different, I am saying “YES PLEASE, TREAT ME HOWEVER YOU WANT AND TALK ABOUT ME ALL YOU WANT AND I’LL JUST BE HERE WITH A SMILE THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU.” I decided I had to try something different with this situation. So I prayed. I forgave. And I was silent. I can’t bring myself to reach out to say “why?” or “how?” or even a call to say “I forgive you”. I’m just too hurt. I have forgiven. But I can’t comply with someone saying hurtful things about me and not apologizing. Now, I don’t need an apology in order to forgive. (That’s per Jesus, y’all.) But I believe that if you’re sorry you say it. If you aren’t, you don’t. So if you don’t, you aren’t. (Now, that was kinda math equation-ish there, so I’m sorry about that.) I have not received any type of apology….not even one of those that says “I’m sorry you were offended” (which is not really an apology, don’t ever do that!)…not “I was mad, I didn’t mean it”…not “you didn’t hear me right”….  So, I’m left to think it was intentional, it was said because it was felt and it was said without regard to my feelings.

So, very long story short. I’m learning that lesson of forgiving when someone is not sorry. It is not a lesson that was up there that I wanted to learn, mind you. But sometimes class is boring, right?

x + y = z

x = someone mistreats you, and they aren’t sorry for it

y = you are hurt

z= you forgive them anyway

Class dismissed.

Hurt.

15 Sep

The definition of hurt as a noun is physical injury or harm.  The definition of injured is harmed, damaged, offended or impaired.  I can honestly say I have suffered much damage and offense in the last few months.  Nothing I want to share specifically except to proclaim that this will not define me.  I won’t let a setback or drama someone else’s words change me.  I am proud of who I am.  I am proud of my life and my family and my character and integrity.  I won’t let anyone affect the happiness that stems from my soul.

I was created by a Mighty God.  He directs my path and my life.  He alone.

Romans 8:28: “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”

Letters from home

14 Aug

When your sweetheart is traveling for business, make no mistake about it…THEY MISS HOME. I speak from experience.  There is nothing like finding love notes from your loved ones in your luggage.  Do it. Overdo it. You will send a smile miles away…who doesn’t want to do that?

I like to include pics  (from Groovebook prints) and funny sayings.  Please, ladies and gents, don’t say things like “come home, I need help around the house” because that’s just rude. ☺

Say things like, “We miss your smile around the house…hope you rock that presentation!”  

My last note (usually a Friday morning) is always the shortest.  Literally it usually says…COME HOME AND KISS ME….or GET YOUR SWEET CALVES HOME…  

You get the point. And so will your sweetie. 😍

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