That word mush of insomnia and zombie has probably been coined already….and I’m probably late to the party…but it’s the only thing that sums up my life right now!
Between menopause (from ovary removal 6/22) and pain in my LLQ (that’s left lower quadrant if you’re blessed to not have to know these abbreviations) that is from something like endometriosis on my colon OR a femoral hernia OR an alien abduction…I am soooo sleepy. All day, every day, I could sleep. I wake up to fetch MJ from school, take her to school, go to doctor appointments, and cook/eat.
I feel like this should be a sponsored post from Hallmark Movie Channel, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, and Lowes Foods To Go!!
I am hoping to hear from some tests and to get a CT scan scheduled immediately to confirm my Dr’s latest theory….but until then, I have a mystery in Eden Lake to solve!
I’m not ashamed to admit that my almost 5 year old sleeps with my husband and I. Every night. I.Love.It. She’s my last “baby” and we have a king size bed. We also have a healthy relationship, parents that babysit and two grown boys that hardly even want to SIT with us. I am sure that because this August, she starts school and has to have more of a routine, we will begin to transition her to her bed. But for now, and for the last almost five years, it’s been a blessing to me. My 14 year old used to be my buddy but is “too cool” for me now…so this has been nice. I’m sure things will change and one day she’ll too think I’m not cool enough to hang with. I’m just enjoying this piece of her life right now and the place she’s at.
Even if it means a foot in my back every now and then.
Lots of people have dreams…and I mean the literal kind. The kind you have while you are actually asleep. That you have no control over. That you remember when you wake up and think “WHAT??”. Well, honestly, I don’t have them that often. When I do, they are either SO WEIRD or SO BAD that I wish I hadn’t! If you gave me a choice of never sleeping and never being tired BUT it meant that I would never dream again? WHERE DO I SIGN UP??? Dreams are not all that. They are NOT real. I do think it’s interesting at times to try to “decode” them or read into them…because I do suppose in some crazy way they are all connected to your reality… However, I have sleep issues. I can’t get enough of it, I haven’t found a way to need enough of it and I can’t remember a time lately when I wasn’t tired!
I’d love to write more but I gotta go take a nap…..Yaaaawwwnnnn. (Not.)
When I feel drained of *energy*, there are a few ways I can recharge. I thought I’d make a list…
- nap (assuming all the kid folk and husband folk are in agreement. LEAST LIKELY ONE, FYI)
- massage (La Therapie in Cary is my FAVE)
- be still (and know)
- talk it out (talk about what drained me, prolly to my mama)
- make a list (ha, but no really)
I find that sometimes the most effective way to recharge is something mindless. Like, scouring FB or Twitter for updates. To just get lost in something that is not taxing or stressful does me much good. Maybe that’s why I know so much about Sanford’s goings-ons, Cory Booker, Food Network and YOU! 🙂
Our time at the beach was short but it was FUN. I’ll write in detail about it later I’m sure…as I’m exhausted and am going to listen to my body and rest. For now, here is my reminder and your tease…in list form:
- Daddy’s driving
- Our Beach Residence
- Value of FaceTime
- Hamburger Joe’s
- Wonder Works
- HomeGoods and my chevron finds
- Skywheel at MB
- Krispy Kreme
- Teenage Boys
- Post-Mono Vacations
I think….I might….go back to work tomorrow!!!! Probably for 4 hours only but I think I am going to bite the bullet and see how it goes. Wednesday might be a good time to try as it doesn’t hold meetings or usually have huge deadlines. I need to do some trip work and just plain catch up. I need to see my peeps and get out and my rest time to active time ratio is finally on the mend. Please pray! I’m calling my Dr as soon as they open to see about getting the “okay”! Ohhhh I am so hopeful!!! Praise the Lord!!! He always provides…
Have you ever just KNOWN something was going to happen. So much that you just wanted to – with all your being – make it STOP. And, maybe you could have? But, probably not. Either way, it happened.
I’m feeling that way over this depressed feeling I am having. I am fighting it with all I can. But, it is still happening. I am absolutely feeling it. Being stuck at home, sleeping a ton, fearful of social situations ~ these are things that most happen as RESULT of depression…not the other way around. I think that’s the reason I can feel it coming and have been able to mostly hold off the major troubles of it. I do cry…but sometimes that is due to the pain in my joints. I also cry because I’m humbled. I’m grateful that I haven’t had health issues before now….that it’s not worse….that this will pass soon.
So I decided that my update yesterday could have been called vague….and that is surely not ever my goal. I prefer to be clear, pointed and transparent. So, let me seriously give you the lowdown.
- I am tracking along with this illness. (If you’re just learning of my mono issues, you can see the old news here.)
- I can expect another 2-3 weeks of feeling bad….but hopefully will make the turn soon and be able to join the living again.
- For the next 6-9 weeks I will be especially susceptible to pneumonia, bronchitis, strep, colds and have the increased risk of hepatitis so my liver functions will be tested regularly.
- I have an ear infection so he gave me antibiotics for that, which of course go great with anyone’s tummy right? (Blah!!)
- Since I have a “weakened immune system”, I am to limit exposure to known sick individuals and to go to the doctor if I have the teeny tiny beginning signs of a cold, sore throat or any fever.
- I am normal. Several symptoms made me wonder if I was…and I am. Not sure if I’m happy or sad about that!!!
- The dizziness should get better over the next few weeks. He is hopeful that it will not last the duration of this illness (which is about 12 weeks total).
- I should not be taking anything for sleep. I asked because I am so off on my sleep patterns. He wants me to sleep when I am sleepy and not worry about when that is.
That’s all, folks! I seriously want to thank those of you who ask about me daily, who have called, emailed, texted to check on me, those who’ve sent things, those who have prayed. I appreciate you all so much. This has been more than I ever could have imagined so I truly am most grateful for one thing – PATIENCE. I’m not really good at it….but I’ve learned more than ever who is…my husband has been so loving and patient through this, I can’t even express how much of a difference that makes. My sweet mother has been especially kind and helpful. My kids have been totally understanding and have seemed to enjoy doing little things for me and I have to tell you that their handmade cards are the most treasured. My boss has been amazing and easy on me. My colleagues have been absolutely wonderful and have picked up where I left off in a big way. My employees have been receptive to the changes that they have had to endure and have stepped up to make sure things didn’t fall through the cracks. My friends and family have been sweet to check on me. I have had cupcakes, spaghetti, lemon pound cake and flowers delivered….(ohhh thank you to my sweet cousin Diane Thomas for that spaghetti…it was timely and so so so so good!)…and I am so very humbled by the kindness of my loved ones and of strangers as well. From people who have contacted me privately through my blog or people who have found other ways…I just can’t say enough how much it means to me. This has been a hard thing for me for which I’ve had no control. (Possibly that’s the hardest part.) Thanks to you guys for making it a little easier on me. Love you all!!!
If you’ve been following my mono progress…you will know that it’s been almost THREE WEEKS. Which, by the way, is tooooo long! From what I have heard/read that’s about normal, though many people (women, especially) do experience issues far longer than this. But we are not going there. Nope!
I have a follow up appointment with my Doctor this afternoon. Pray that it goes well, I feel good enough to be there and that I don’t fall out. Being “up and about” has been the issue lately. Getting up too quickly and getting dizzy or feeling hot and like I’m going to pass out – those are the things that keep me home. Well, that and feeling like I need to sleep 16 hours a day. During the day. It’s no fun, y’all!!!!
Thanks for the prayers so far…
I have been doing these for a while and started sharing them on IG. It occurred to me that not everyone is there and that I want to be sure I have them in a safe place! I love looking back on them…especially on a bad day!