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Patient Patience

23 Sep

To say that I’m exhausted from pain is an understatement.  Let me just give you a quick rundown of what’s going on….(and if technical, lady-business words make you uncomfortable – skip this one!)  I posted this ten days ago but updated it today 10/3/16.

April 2013 – intense pain and cramping during periods, had an ablation to help with pain

October 2015 – pain starts back up and surgery is scheduled, due to endometriosis

December 2015 – hysterectomy performed (partial, kept ovaries)

June 2016 – pain is back, but only in left side…checked for cyst – negative….GYN thinks due to endometriosis.  Suggests removing ovaries will kill estrogen and therefore stop feeding endometriosis.

June 2016 – Ovaries removed. No hormones prescribed so as to remove as much estrogen as possible.  Pain continues.  While performing surgery, notices there is significant endometriosis on colon.

July 2016 – Pain continues. Visits to primary care physician, GYN and general surgeon to discuss options.  Surgeon orders colonoscopy and EGD to check for any blockages or other issues.

August 2016 – Colonoscopy performed.  No blockages.  Colon is “floppy” but not showing any signs internally that endo has damaged.  Surgeon not convinced that endo is source of pain.  GYN is sure endo is.

September 9, 2016 – Follow up with general surgeon and he now wonders if pain could be from femoral hernia.  He checks and feels “something”.  He performs ultrasound and sees “something”.  Orders CT Scan.

September 20, 2016 – CT Scan performed and awaiting results.  Still waiting.  Not patiently.

I’m so hoping this pain can be a distant memory soon.  Until it is, I am just taking one day at a time….sometimes an hour at a time.  The pain is on my left side, is worse when I’m standing and appears for most of the time when I am standing/walking/sitting and if I am laying down it is more than likely THERE but maybe not as “sharp”.

September 26, 2016 – Follow up with general surgeon to discuss CT Scan.  He started to say the words that I dreaded hearing…”The scan did not 100% confirm….” and I have to be honest, I didn’t hear much else.  I broke down in tears and just stopped listening.  When he was finished I confessed that I wasn’t listening and he started over with “I still think you have a femoral hernia…” and that was enough to make me feel better.  He thinks maybe the scan didn’t show because I was lying down and the hernia could correct itself while I’m lying down – so he wanted to proceed with surgery.  While discussing the surgery details, he let me know that he wanted to perform the surgery using robotic assistance so that slimmed down the time slots and hospitals.  It would be at Rex’s Raleigh campus and the day was up for grabs (depending on who could proctor and when the robot rep was available to be on call).  He wanted to use this means in order to explore my abdomen/intestines/colon to check on the endometriosis.  OH YES…..I was so happy.  We scheduled the surgery….and then rescheduled (based on all of the above) for just 4 days later, Friday, September 30th.  I was so happy it was going to be on Friday instead of Thursday since Mike was in Boston but due back late Thursday night!  (To be honest, I would have still had the surgery, but I was glad I didn’t have to without him!)

September 30, 2016 – Surgery day!  Woke up at 3:30 to leave the house by 4:30 am.  Traffic was very light!  LOL  Getting the IV in……not easy.  This is just one of my arms and the other was as bad…I think they stuck me around 6 times.  When they finally get one, they broke my heart by saying, “Since your surgery is robotic, you have to have two IV’s.”  They quickly followed that up by telling me they would do the second one after I was asleep. (Thank you Jesus!)

20160930_205319

My Mom and Mike were there (my Daddy and in-laws were on MJ duty at a school program) and by my side until they took me back.  FAST FORWARD —

When I woke up from surgery, I remember being so scared!  I remember worrying right then that I’d still have the pain that has been my enemy!  I panicked and they gave me more oxygen as it had fallen to 91%.  After that, I was okay…got more pain meds…drank Ginger Ale, ate my graham crackers and got out of there!  I was so ready to be home and in my own bed.  I don’t remember much about the ride home at all!  Just that Mike checked on me and held my hand most of the way!

October 3, 2016 – It’s been a few days now and I have to tell you I’m really surprised at how much these incisions hurt!  They are bigger than my previous surgeries (and I mean my poor belly button has had three surgeries now in just 10 months) and feel more tender.  Getting up and down out of a chair or the bed feels a bit like someone is ripping muscle in my abdomen….but no big deal…ha!  I do feel better every day so that’s a positive.  The leg pain that had started as a result (we believe) of the hernia is GONE – praise God!!

I am so thankful for friends and family who have reached out, helped out and prayed diligently.  I may not have a large family but I have an amazing husband and kids, an awesome set of parents and in-laws and many cousins who have prayed and checked in on me.  I’m blessed.

I can’t believe all that has changed in three months.  I went from a workaholic to a stay at home Mom.  A relatively healthy 37 year old to a 37 year old hermit in chronic pain.  Making the decision to leave my stressful, travel-heavy job was a hard one but I am so grateful that my husband and family supported me in it so much.  There is absolutely no way I could commit to working at this point.  I’m thankful that I have always had a job, since I was 15 (shout out to Jimbo’s Grill and On Cue!!) and I have had amazing opportunities, met wonderful people and learned many things (shout out to pivot tables, vlookups and incentive programs).  The season I’m in now is one of waiting and being still and having faith.  It’s uncomfortable but I do believe that the Lord is with me and is guiding me through this.  He is giving me strength to do things that matter.  Homework with MJ, moving my oldest to college, getting ready for doctor appointments, cooking dinner for my sweet husband….the important things.  I am just learning every day to be a patient patient.  It’s not easy.

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Inzombia

14 Sep

That word mush of insomnia and zombie has probably been coined already….and I’m probably late to the party…but it’s the only thing that sums up my life right now!

Between menopause (from ovary removal 6/22) and pain in my LLQ (that’s left lower quadrant if you’re blessed to not have to know these abbreviations) that is from something like endometriosis on my colon OR a femoral hernia OR an alien abduction…I am soooo sleepy.  All day, every day, I could sleep.  I wake up to fetch MJ from school, take her to school, go to doctor appointments, and cook/eat.

I feel like this should be a sponsored post from Hallmark Movie Channel, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, and Lowes Foods To Go!!

I am hoping to hear from some tests and to get a CT scan scheduled immediately to confirm my Dr’s latest theory….but until then, I have a mystery in Eden Lake to solve!

Cleaning or Cleansing?

1 Aug

Since we moved into our home three years ago, we were blessed to hire someone to clean it.  I honestly don’t know that I have ever deep cleaned the house until after I retired on 7/15.  I seriously forgot how satisfying it is to see something dirty and make it clean.  To have the vacuum lines…the clean counters…  Maybe I’m OCD more than I admit.  I love the fact that I can declutter and rearrange and my hubby comes home and notices.  Silly little things but in this season of sickness for my life, it is very rewarding to have something – anything, to feel that I have a little control over.

Moving On

20 Jan

I can’t imagine losing my husband…or my daddy.  I have such emotion right now for my friend and her mom.  I can’t imagine the “what do I do now” feeling or the immense feeling of loss.  I know they are absolutely relieved that he’s no longer in pain, but I would imagine that they are also having that empty feeling as well.  I don’t know how you move on…how you go about your daily life and miss that person….how you sit down to dinner at the table you shared with them and they aren’t there.  The whole “time heals all wounds” saying would fall on deaf ears to me…it would almost offend me.  I’d want more time…more moments…just a few more memories.  Knowing that person is in a better place, of course, helps you with these feelings somewhat I’d think…but not having them present in your every day life has to sting so much.  I am praying so hard right now for this family…I love them so much and I know if there is any way they are going to heal, it will be from our Lord.  God bless them…

Just Beachy

22 Oct

Our time at the beach was short but it was FUN.  I’ll write in detail about it later I’m sure…as I’m exhausted and am going to listen to my body and rest.  For now, here is my reminder and your tease…in list form:

  1. Daddy’s driving
  2. Our Beach Residence
  3. Value of FaceTime
  4. Hamburger Joe’s
  5. Wonder Works
  6. HomeGoods and my chevron finds
  7. Skywheel at MB
  8. Krispy Kreme
  9. Teenage Boys
  10. Post-Mono Vacations

Big News!!!

9 Oct

I think….I might….go back to work tomorrow!!!!  Probably for 4 hours only but I think I am going to bite the bullet and see how it goes.  Wednesday might be a good time to try as it doesn’t hold meetings or usually have huge deadlines.  I need to do some trip work and just plain catch up.  I need to see my peeps and get out and my rest time to active time ratio is finally on the mend.  Please pray!  I’m calling my Dr as soon as they open to see about getting the “okay”!  Ohhhh I am so hopeful!!!  Praise the Lord!!!  He always provides…

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