Slow Down

26 Sep

Slow Down. 

So, I’ve never been really good at SEEING signs or UNDERSTANDING an answer from God.  Sure, I’d ask.  I’d pray.  I’d hope that I was doing the right thing and I’d eventually seem to get it right most of the time.  But, I wasn’t ever really sure.  Mostly, I’d lack the peace of feeling that my path was the right one.  I have also always tried to look at the good in every situation.  I’ve tried to pick things apart to feel like I could see why God would allow things to happen.  Even in a big picture kind of way, I’d feel like I had a vague understanding of a reason behind why a loving God would let bad things happen to good people.  It’s one thing to believe in God’s plan and another thing to trust it when it means that something bad has to happen to you or a loved one. 
I truly believe that I have been CHANGED lately.  I’m not sure if I am less stubborn or more faithful.  If I have more clarity or less ignorance.  One thing I know for sure….I asked for something.  God provided it.  Ever since I heard the news that I had mono, I have been a little down in the dumps.  I have had LOTS of rest and sleep and naps and laying around feeling terrible.  I have thought of good reasons as to why this happened now and not a month before or after.  I have also asked God why.  I have been patient to hear his answer.  I have been faithful in my prayer about it as well.  I believe I have my answer.  I almost feel like I’m breaking some confidence between He and I, because He spoke to me so privately, so personally.  But I have to share it.  I was talking about my issues with mono to a loved one and I said…”I don’t know if this was to tell me to slow down, but if so, I’ve done just that.”  At a later time, I wondered if that was it.  Could that have been the purpose of this hardship I’m enduring?  There are many times that I feel like I am running so fast but getting nowhere.  I feel like I’m trying to be the best mom, wife, daughter, aunt, employee, manager, friend – PERSON…that I fail at all of those things a little bit more over time because so many times one takes away from another.  Did I need to slow down?  Doesn’t that contradict getting more done, faster, in a shorter time, in order to please EVERYONE?   I should digress a bit and say that I also just started a new Beth Moore Bible study that focuses on living life to the fullest.  Hmm.  Related?  Maybe.  Okay, back to now.  So…I am questioning this in my mind, in my prayers.  And then, it happens.  I am working from home on Monday for a bit as to not totally lose touch.  I turn on my iTunes music to help me work (it helps me so much).  And a song that I don’t even remember downloading comes to life.  I actually look at the title because when it first comes on it says, “Alright, let’s rock it” and it’s unfamiliar.  The song title is “Slow Down”.  I decide to stop the email that I’m typing and do just that…slow down.  So I listen to Third Day belt out this tune.  The lyrics say:

 “Tell me to slow down, 
if You think that the road that I’m on is going nowhere, 
Tell me to slow down, 
if You know that I’m going too fast for my own good.”  

Tears stream down my face as I figure this out.  This is my answer.  It even says, 

“And, Oh, I don’t want to let go, 
of all the things that I know, 
are keeping me, 
away from my life.”  

Have I been so busy – too busy – to really fix things that are broken?  My faith?  My relationship with my Lord?  I have been reading all of my Beth Moore study even though I’ve not been able to attend and it’s working on my heart.  It is making me want to change and live a fuller life.  Is this one of the ways that I need to do it? To slow down?  Slow down in order to live a life more abundant?  I’ve been forced to do it.  I haven’t had a bit of a choice in the matter.  My Doctor tells me to “rest, rest, and when you feel a bit better, go back to bed!”  But, how am I supposed to take care of my family?  Let them take care of YOU.  How am I supposed to be there for my employees?  Let them take the reins.    How am I supposed to get everything done?  You won’t, and life will go on.  I can’t even express in words how liberating this is for me.  I don’t HAVE TO be everything or do it all or get it all done TODAY.  Because you know what?  There is a tomorrow.  And it will all be there then, unless someone else does it.  And if they do?  I’ll thank them.  And if there’s no tomorrow here on Earth.  I’ll thank Him.  🙂

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2 Responses to “Slow Down”

  1. Anonymous September 26, 2012 at 7:07 pm #

    What a great reminder. I'm a firm believer that HE gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it. Sometimes we just have to "be still" and listen. Lifting you in prayer for a healthy recovery. @LisainLouKY

  2. Victoria September 27, 2012 at 9:04 am #

    I love how the more I get to know God, the more I recognize His movements in my life. Of course, there are still times I wonder what the what is up. I'm so grateful you're getting confirmation our God wants you to slow your roll. I've been there, learning less is more when you do it well, and it's a doozy, huh? ♥

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